I have been thinking about love — being in love, letting love in, giving love. As I prepared for the final yoga resting pose, Savasana, I heard the teacher say that this is the position that gets rid of all impurities and allows the body to process all the poses. “Dharma (Mittra) says that Savasana is the antidote to all impurities.” I closed my eyes, relaxed my body, took long and slow breaths and rested.

As I felt myself rest in love, I could feel the whole room fill with love. And when it came time to open my eyes, all I could hear from my meditation was, “Love is antidote to what ails us.”

May we rest in love, always.
Mary Anne

If I Had a Heart
Holy War
Genocide
Suicide
Hate and cruelty…
How can this be holy?
If I had a heart, I’d cry
Holy Earth
How can we heal you?
We cover you like a blight…
Strange birds of appetite…
If I had a heart, I’d cry.
{If I Had a Heart}

and… another song…

Love never looks for love
Love’s not puffed up
Or envious
Or touchy
Because it rejoices in the truth
Not in iniquity
Love sees like a child sees
Where as a child I saw it face to face
Now I only know it in part
Fractions in me
Of faith and hope and love
And of these great three
Love’s the greatest beauty
Love
Love
Love
{Love)

Love more.
Mary Anne

According to the Associated Press, there have been at least 12 cases in the U.S. since 2003 in which children and young adults between 11 and 18 killed themselves after falling victim to some form of “cyberbullying” — teasing, harassing or intimidating with pictures or words distributed online or via text message. And according to statistics, gay and lesbian youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide.

I personally know the pain of wanting to hide my sexuality and even having suicide as an option as a teenager. Luckily for me, I was never humiliated or harassed.  I didn’t experience the hate and intimidation that so many of our gay youth face.

Every time we destroy another human being in any way, we destroy something far greater than one individual or group.

What is the cost of intolerance? Lives.

Mary Anne

As I started singing along, I heard her lyrics:
“Only love is real
Everything is love
Everything you feel
That’s what your world is made of

And when I took a good look around I see
My thoughts are coming back to me
So look around
We are in charge of our own dreams
We have more power than it seems
So look around”

I’m looking around with love.
Mary Anne

Then this past weekend, I picked up the book, Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert and started to re-read all the dog-eared pages. As I flipped the pages, I came across the following lines in the book: “The other problem with all this swinging through the vines of thought is that you are never where you are. You are always digging in the past or poking at the future, but rarely do you rest in this moment.

In my meditation, this is what came through about living in the moment:

You are here. Not knowing, never knew. Never needed to and never will. If your thoughts float to the past, you can bring them back with love. If your thoughts wander too far into the future, you can bring them back with love. When we choose to live in this moment, we choose a direct path to our heart and the divine. Being present to this moment right now means being home. Welcome home.

To celebrating now with love,
Mary Anne

One day my spiritual teacher asked me what I admired most about a new friend I had just met. I said, “She is smart, creative, and funny. She is generous, kind, and heart-centered. I admire her tenacity, her openness, and dedication to spirituality.” My teacher said, “That sounds a lot like you.” With a smile on my face, I thought, “Really?” She went on to say, “What you see in her is what is inside of you. She is simply a mirror looking back at you.”

What positive aspect of another is showing up in your life as a mirror looking back at you?

Mary Anne

I love speaking with my nephew as he can always make me smile – even without realizing it. He is just so open, real, and pure and he reminds me I can still be like a seven year old in the world. About two weeks ago we spoke on the phone and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi George.
George: Hi Aunt Mary Anne (said with glee).
Me: What are you doing?
George: Playing my Nintendo DS.
Me: Which game?
George: Mario Brothers.
Me: How was school today?
George: Great!
Me: What was the best part of your day?
George: Well…I think it was when I was in the lunch room and saw Mrs. Henderson (the lunchroom lady).
Me: Why was that the best part of your day?
George: Well, I like Mrs. Henderson because she is nice.
Me: That’s great George. Have you ever told her that you think she is nice?
George: No, but I do give her a hug.
Me: I am sure she likes that.
George: Yea.
Me: George?
George: What?
Me: Are you distracted?
George: Yes, I am distracted.
Me: What’s distracting you?
George: Well, I am talking to you.
Me: Thanks for that. I love you.
George: I love you too, lots and lots.

Note to self: play more, thank people more, remember the best part of my day, give more hugs, and focus on love.

Thanks George.
Mary Anne

A Meditation on the Beloved:

Beloved
Let that drop in
Beloved
Go deep inside
Who is your beloved?
Where in your body is the beloved?
Beloved
Is it falling into you yet?
Look back into yourself.
Beloved
Drop in a little more
Beloved
Listen with your eyes
Hear with your heart
Beloved
What are you experiencing now?
Beloved
Be Love

You are loved. Stay there.
Mary Anne

This is dedicated to all who have allowed me to experience the Beloved—Lorene, Val, Paulette, Meredith, Louis, Joe, Greg, and Myron.

Many people were moved by my “coming out” blog and have written some amazing responses. I am sharing some of the responses because they were full of so much wisdom. I have been overwhelmed by the love and acceptance that has flowed my way. May each day give us a chance to embrace who we are and allow our full light to shine.

“Here’s to being able to truly be authentic, to openly say ‘this is an important part of who I am’, without shame or fear. I look forward to embracing & welcoming others doing the same, whatever hidden part of themselves that may be.”

“I too blew off the (High School) reunion thinking no one would remember me or care if I was there, and it saddens me to think you felt alone during any part of your life.”

“I am happy to have found all the PC (High School) people here, as well. So many people (girls and guys) that I wish I had gotten to know then…because I’m coming to learn that we can each offer support and friendship to others.”

“In many ways, the most significant ‘coming outs’ for me have been politically and spiritually and those self-realizations might not have happened if it wasn’t for my needing to deal with my sexual orientation. As you said, I needed to live authentically before my light could shine, both in personal relationships and professionally.”

“But then I thought, what would I have done if you shared this with me? Would I have had the maturity and grace and compassion to accept you, to help you? Probably not, back then. It’s a cruel trick of nature that we start to realize who we are, just when our peers are least likely to accept us! But if there is one thing I’ve learned, and something I hope (God I hope) I can impart to my daughters, it’s this: EVERYONE feels alone and different and depressed and disconnected in high school, at some point. Nobody ever feels they are good enough. We need to live a lot of years before we realize, hey, we’re ok after all.”

With gratitude,
Mary Anne

As an invitation, feel free to close your eyes, sit with your spine straight and take a few soft breaths. Then inhale a little deeper through your nose, and on the exhale, repeat the mantra OM (AUM).  Do this three times. Allow yourself to really feel everything and become the observer of your thoughts. Feel free to focus on one question or statement below and just allow your experience to unfold

Love What Is Now. Love What is Now.

I am open to the rhythms of the world.

Beloved, what do you hear in the silence?

“I love you and you are perfect exactly as you are.”

How do you become an observer of your thoughts? What practices allow you to see things as they are?

We show up with love and that is all grief needs to flow into grace. We show up with love because in the end that’s all we really need.

What seeds (inside yourself) are you watering?

The invitation is to be open for whatever thoughts flow through you. Allow your mind and body to expand into the experience (without judgment).  Feel free to start with whatever mantra calls to you.

May you experience the bursting of seeds within your heart and mind. Take time to water the garden of you!

In every moment, there is grace,
Mary Anne