If I Had a Heart
Holy War
Genocide
Suicide
Hate and cruelty…
How can this be holy?
If I had a heart, I’d cry
Holy Earth
How can we heal you?
We cover you like a blight…
Strange birds of appetite…
If I had a heart, I’d cry.
{If I Had a Heart}

and… another song…

Love never looks for love
Love’s not puffed up
Or envious
Or touchy
Because it rejoices in the truth
Not in iniquity
Love sees like a child sees
Where as a child I saw it face to face
Now I only know it in part
Fractions in me
Of faith and hope and love
And of these great three
Love’s the greatest beauty
Love
Love
Love
{Love)

Love more.
Mary Anne

Recently, a friend posted a video of the song The Never Ending Story by Limahl. I had not heard that song in years, but have a vivid memory of singing to my 45-inch record.

“Dream a dream and what you will see will be
Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds
And there upon the rainbow is the answer
To a never ending story”

How many times have I told a never ending story? Could there be a new way of telling a story – behind the clouds and upon the rainbow?

Just last week I was telling “the story” of how I started my company, Toning the OM™. I went right into the “never ending story” of how my mom passed away and I needed to find an outlet for my grief. For the past four years, I have told the story of my mom’s death as the reason I started Toning the OM™. In reality, it was my mom’s life that inspired me. It was her dedication to her faith, her friends, and her never-ending belief in me to do anything I put my mind to.

My new story is about how I created Toning the OM™ not because my mom died, but because she lived.

Mary Anne

Arches 
looking in or looking out
rested in your rocks
I could not shield myself
from the bitterness
shutting myself down
away from you
Heal me…walk on…

Raven
wings flapping
like window shutters
soaring above me
so I could see my God
my faith rebounding
Love me…walk on…

O Zion
praying to you
gave me unfamiliar faces
encouraging me to climb
up through the path
to the top or
to the beginning
Show me…walk on…

Bryce
your hoodoos captured
my heart and saved my soul
like the trees burnt
to ashes into the soil
by mighty lightening
Hold me…walk on…

Wisdom
a warming gift
of stories told and retold
the footprints are
a journey through land
a pathway to a healing heart
and an abandoned soul
Carry me…Walk with me…Walk on…
Walk on…

Mary Anne

(Written after traveling to Utah and hiking the National Parks)

Rather than just talk about the negative effects of noise, we can spend time educating people on the positive effects of silence. Many meditation practitioners have shared that silent meditation increases their ability to concentrate. The editorial reveals that teachers who introduce silence into their classrooms said it fosters learning. And even hospitals that have “quiet zones” received validation in recent studies linking silence and healing.

What would happen if we would take time out in our day to be quiet? Perhaps we would discover more quiet within. We might even discover some powerful listening techniques we never had before. In a society filled with loud sounds of cars, sirens, planes or even the constant hum and buzz of computers, we could think about how to experience more silence. As Prochnik says, “Even a little bit of silence can create a sense of connection with our environment that diminishes alienation, and prompts a desire to discover more quiet.”

How do you want to create more silence in your life?

Here is to connecting through silence,
Mary Anne

“I went to work with Bryan after the appointment. It was so nice to not be homebound I crazily said, “Take me to work. I’ll clean up your messy file cabinet. I know you have one.” Bryan laughed. We got some lunch and then headed to his office.

After everyone saw me come in with one leg, Bryan set about doing his own work while I filed. As he was copying something outside his office door, I heard someone ask him, in a polite, well-intended tone, “How can you stay so strong and love so much in this situation with Monica?”

He paused a moment, but not too long and said, “I love what is. Right now. You have to or you go crazy over what could be…or not be. I love what IS…NOW.” I heard some mumbles from the other person about how great that was and something to think about. Bryan came back in his office door whistling and winked at me, “Got ears like a hunting dog. Dontcha?” and kissed my forehead, “but I’ve said that before without you here, so there!” I just grinned and continued sorting the files. And, so, now he knows the story behind the mantra. I shared it with him as he worked and I filed.

I hadn’t previously told him the mantra you shared with me during your shamanic journey and that I repeat several times a day to keep me grounded. And then it came up over the weekend as we toured the new remodeling of our first home. “Hon, what do we need to do right now?” I said, “Love this house as it is?” He nodded. “One layer at a time. Let’s get settled with the newness we have and then talk about other remodeling later.”

I’m learning that loving what is now isn’t just about me, but many other things in my world. Love my work in the stage it’s in. Keep pressing forward, but relish where it’s at right now. Love where my marriage is now, regardless of whether we have children or not. Love my body, even if there’s only one leg and love me…

Love. Love. Love. Right this very minute. So every time I get frustrated and I find something to love about that very moment, even if it’s that it presents a problem for me to solve and learn from.”

Love What Is Now
Mary Anne

This is dedicated to Monica Foster who has been a light that shines so brightly for all of us to see. Thank you for allowing us to learn through and with you.

Rupert and his wife discussed bringing Rowan to shamans in Mongolia for healing. Rupert had worked with shamans before through his work as a journalist in Africa. He thought if he could bring Rowan to healers who would work with him and experience their horses, this could possibly bring about a cure. The movie revealed a profound insight into the world of the autistic mind. It showed the courage of parents who traveled half way around the world for their child – only to wonder at various points if the trip was really for Rowan or for them. The movie showed the vulnerability of parents and the everyday uphill battles of living with an autistic child. Rowan gave all autistic children a voice of hope and love.

I do not wish to reveal everything about the movie (it’s playing at the IFC theatre in Manhattan September 30 – October 1 www.ifccenter.com) I do want to say that this powerful movie shows how children can relate to their parents, to the land, to animals, to shamans, and to the world in new ways. As Isaacson said after the movie ended, “Many cultures have shamans – Africa, Mongolia, Australia, the Rainforest, and the America’s. When you ask shamans from around the world to share their various healing techniques, they all share the same response – love. It’s all about directing love.”

I sat through the first 30 minutes of this movie crying. I was crying for a little boy who had no way of expressing himself except long screaming tantrums. I was crying for the parents who were doing everything they could to help alleviate the suffering of their son. I was crying for family and friends who have been through their own journey with autism. At the very end of the night, Isaacson spoke to the audience and told us what he was able to learn from this experience. He told us he didn’t want a cure for autism. He wants healing. Isaacson said that he doesn’t want his son to suffer, but that he wants him to keep his personality – that is what makes him special. This really is a remarkable film about a family’s extraordinary journey, adventure, shamanic and human experiences. Most of all, it is a story of love.

If you are unable to see the movie, I encourage everyone to go and purchase the book, The Horse Boy.

Abundant love and healing, Mary Anne

This is dedicated to Rupert Isaacson, Kristin Neff, and Rowan for sharing their remarkable story as a testimony of courage and love as well as to the shamans throughout the world – seeking to direct­­ love and consequently healing. This is also, dedicated to the many families who seek healing for their autistic family members.