Posts Tagged ‘Gratitude’
How Do You Make Decisions?
Wednesday, August 11th, 2010
I realized recently that most of my decisions happen effortlessly. If I have to think too much or too long, then I know that the time is not right to make a decision. Or as Seth Godin says about the ‘Decision Before the Decision’: “This is the one that was made before you even showed up.”
When was the last time I made a decision? Probably when I was hungry and decided what food to eat. Other than that, decisions just happen when the time is right
Byron Katie talks about decisions in this way: “You can’t make a decision. You can only experience a story about how you made it. Decisions make themselves; they’re happenings; they come when the time is right.”
What a relief!
Mary Anne
Create Space for What You Love Doing
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010
Create space for what you LOVE to do, rather than fill space with what you are ‘comfortable’ doing.
I hope you have been able to spend time doing what you LOVE this summer. I decided to take a little more time off this summer from what was becoming a hectic schedule (that I created). I would often hear people “admire” me for my busy schedule, all the programs and workshops I gave, my growing business, all while working full-time. The truth is I became very “comfortable” filling my schedule. What I really needed to do was become comfortable being uncomfortable with less to do.
After emptying my calendar and saying “no” to a lot of invitations, I began to create space in my schedule. I was able to spend time seeing what it was I really LOVE to do. I didn’t need a sabbatical from work; I needed a sabbatical from myself! I spent a lot of time going to the beach, connecting with friends, taking long walks, and reading lots of good books. This gave me the respite I needed to relax. I spent many mornings and evenings sitting quietly, watching sunrises and sunsets, and listening to the birds sing. I came to a place where I finally acknowledged how much I love to write meditations, poetry, and blogs. The quieter I became, the more ideas for my business flowed effortlessly.
Create space for what you LOVE to do! How could being uncomfortable give you the space you need to show you what is you LOVE?
Mary Anne
Hurry Up and Wait!
Thursday, August 5th, 2010
My father had this saying when I was growing up: “Hurry up and wait.” I would often laugh at the expression – until I had to start driving on I-95 in New York. Anyone who has driven I-95 knows that there are two speeds on this road – drag racing and dead stop. There are so many times it has taken me hours to go 13-15 miles. By now you would think I might have learned patience after 18+ years of driving on the Cross Bronx Expressway. The reality is, I still get frustrated and yell at drivers.
I am not one for sitting in traffic or waiting on lines (heck, I was born two months premature!). I will often choose to take lunch early or late so I don’t have to wait on line. So, when I went to Whole Foods for a lunch treat this week, I thought I would miss the mad rush. But there I was – standing on a long line. If you have ever been to a Whole Foods, you might appreciate the anxiety running through me. You not only have to wait on a LONG line, you have to stand in a color coded line and wait for your color to be called and told what register to go to. There’s a science to it. And finding your register when it blinks is an art – one I have not mastered.
I waited on the long line because I had bought a delicious lunch. And then I thought, “Why am in a hurry?” Other than wanting to enjoy a yummy meal, what was the big rush?
Of course, there are many other things I would rather be doing than sitting in my car in traffic or waiting on a long line in a food store, but I get to choose how I think about it. I get to listen to more CD’s in my car and meet new people while waiting on line. I even chatted with the cashier at Whole Foods as I had just seen her over the weekend. This doesn’t mean I’ll love to sit in traffic or wait on lines, but it does mean I might choose a different response to it.
What is something that teaches you to hurry up and wait?
Mary Anne
How Are You Growing the Garden of You?
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
This past weekend I noticed amazing flower gardens all over New York City. As I walked through the Central Park Conservatory, I stared at flowers. Looking deep into the colors, I wondered when the seeds were planted. I became curious about the depth of the roots. I noticed so many beautiful flowers fully grown and came to realize that this is the ultimate trust in nature that exists.
How am I like that flower? Where do I plant seeds in the hope and trust that they will fully blossom? How far down are my roots and which ones will I allow to become unearthed in new and amazing ways?
In every way, I trust that I will grow.
Mary Anne
Who Lives on in Your Heart?
Tuesday, July 13th, 2010
The anniversary of my mom’s passing was Monday (July 12) and I can’t believe it has been 10 years. If I close my eyes, I can remember that day like it was yesterday. And yet, so much of my life has changed in the last 10 years. I’ve changed jobs twice, studied shamanism, facilitated drumming circles, traveled to Italy to stay in the Vatican, started my own healing arts company, journeyed to Louisiana to meet Mary Ann, and became a certified life coach. Through all of these transitions and changes, I have had incredible teachers, mentors, therapists, healers, and friends.
The world has changed a lot too. We have seen our first African American President in the United States. We watched the world come together through major tragedies like 9/11, a tsunami in Indonesia, Hurricane Katrina in Louisiana, and an earthquake in Haiti to name just a few. We have helped one another through our times of change and turmoil.
What I have learned over the past ten years is that the earth below our feet moves and shakes. How we deal with a shaking and ever-changing earth is up to us. As the writer Dominique Browning says about life, “It never gets easy. But if we are paying attention, it can get simpler.”
For years I experienced my mom’s passing as the worst grief in my life. I have come to realize these past ten years that she never really left because she lives on through my memories of her, in my work, and in my heart. People never really leave our hearts.
The earth will shake again. This time I will pay more attention and I know it will get simpler.
Who lives on in your heart?
In loving memory of my mom,
Mary Anne
Listening to My Father’s Wisdom
Monday, May 10th, 2010
Growing up, my father had many expressions: “Take your time, but don’t be long”; “You can always replace money, but you can’t replace a person”; “It takes a lot longer to fill out an accident report than it does to take your time on the road” and on and on. He also had his way of imparting values of how his daughters ought to be in the world. If I had to sum up the four cornerstones of how to live life through my father’s expressions, it would be this:
Tell the Truth.
It’s a lot easier to remember the truth and own up if you have done something. It’s a lot harder to remember the lies or stories and the truth always gets revealed.
Say Please/Thank You.
Manners say a lot about a person. There is such respect in an exchange that includes a please or thank you. In the end, people feel connected and want to help when they hear polite words.
Never Hate (Disliking Is OK).
You don’t have to like everybody, but hating serves no purpose and is only draining. Plus, the cost to hate is more hurtful to the one hating. Do we really need more enemies?
Quiet Please Rather Than Shut Up.
There is nothing worse than being stifled or put down. We can be kinder and gentler with one another. Asking for quiet brings peace back to us.
Think about the wisdom your family has shared with you and how it has shown up in your life and the values you teach others. I am grateful that my parents demonstrated generosity, service, and strong work values.
Thank you, Dad.
Mary Anne
Did You Do Your Best?
Monday, May 3rd, 2010
There was a time growing up when I didn’t doing well in school and my mom asked me, “Did you do your best?” I told her I did and she said that was all I needed to give others – my best. My mom told me I could be anything I wanted and believed in me at times when I didn’t believe in myself.
This past week I completed my certification as a Life/Executive Coach from New York University. It was a big undertaking as I work full-time and run my own company as well as had major family health issues come up while taking classes. There were times I thought I was going to give up. Keeping up with all the courses, homework assignments, readings, completing forms, and coaching clients became all consuming. Yet, through it all, I have met some of the most amazing individuals (some of whom have become my closest friends). I have come across men and women from ages 25 – 65 that see potential and possibility in the individuals, business executives, and organizations they partner with. This exceptional group of coaches is all about life-long learning and developing their own sense of self-mastery. They are vulnerable, generous, and supportive.
After completing the last course, I celebrated with my fellow coaches and then went home and celebrated with my partner, Lorene (who has encouraged me every step of the way). I told her I wish I could have picked up the phone to tell my mom that I finished the coaching program. I still miss hearing her voice. Instead, I opened a box that has photos and other memorabilia and pulled out a photo of the two of us. I looked at a photo of my mom and I, cried, and said, “I did my best.”
Special thanks to all of my family, friends, and coaches for being so supportive on my journey.
Mary Anne
This is dedicated with gratitude & love to my teacher, my coach, my mentor, and my good friend, Paulette Rao.
Overwhelmed by Love
Friday, April 9th, 2010
Sometimes I hit the “enter” button on the keyboard and wonder how people will respond to one of my writings I post publicly on my blog. I was so excited to write a blog about “coming out” and how we all get a chance to do that every day when we live life as who we are openly and authentically. I spent years being ashamed of who I was, which brought me so much unhappiness. It has taken me some time, but now all parts of my life are integrated – loving relationships, friendships, hobbies, spirituality, work, and dreams.
Many people were moved by my “coming out” blog and have written some amazing responses. I am sharing some of the responses because they were full of so much wisdom. I have been overwhelmed by the love and acceptance that has flowed my way. May each day give us a chance to embrace who we are and allow our full light to shine.
“Here’s to being able to truly be authentic, to openly say ‘this is an important part of who I am’, without shame or fear. I look forward to embracing & welcoming others doing the same, whatever hidden part of themselves that may be.”
“I too blew off the (High School) reunion thinking no one would remember me or care if I was there, and it saddens me to think you felt alone during any part of your life.”
“I am happy to have found all the PC (High School) people here, as well. So many people (girls and guys) that I wish I had gotten to know then…because I’m coming to learn that we can each offer support and friendship to others.”
“In many ways, the most significant ‘coming outs’ for me have been politically and spiritually and those self-realizations might not have happened if it wasn’t for my needing to deal with my sexual orientation. As you said, I needed to live authentically before my light could shine, both in personal relationships and professionally.”
“But then I thought, what would I have done if you shared this with me? Would I have had the maturity and grace and compassion to accept you, to help you? Probably not, back then. It’s a cruel trick of nature that we start to realize who we are, just when our peers are least likely to accept us! But if there is one thing I’ve learned, and something I hope (God I hope) I can impart to my daughters, it’s this: EVERYONE feels alone and different and depressed and disconnected in high school, at some point. Nobody ever feels they are good enough. We need to live a lot of years before we realize, hey, we’re ok after all.”
With gratitude,
Mary Anne
Loving Our Worth—Priceless
Monday, April 5th, 2010
Every now and again we question our worth—our value. We spend time thinking about our own value and our value in relationships. I recently had an experience where I allowed thoughts about my value with a friend get in the way of my friendship. I convinced myself that my friend was moving on to bigger and better things in her life, building her business, and on the path to finding her soul mate. I translated this to mean she no longer “needed” me and I doubted my value in her life. I questioned our friendship and in doing so devalued both of us.
I allowed my fear to get in the way of our friendship. It’s like the story of the fifty-dollar bill. A workshop speaker stands at the front of a seminar and holds up a fifty-dollar bill. He asks the audience who would like the fifty-dollar bill. Almost all the hands go up. He lets them know he will give it to one of them, but first takes the bill and begins to crumple it into a ball. He asks the audience again, “Who wants this bill?” Many people still raise their hands. Next, he takes the bill and places it on the floor and grinds his shoe into it.
“Now who wants the bill?” the speaker asks. People still raise their hand. He smiles and tells the audience that just because he crumpled up the money and stepped all over it, it did not decrease the value—it’s still worth fifty dollars.
Many times, we feel like that crumpled bill. We make mistakes, we say things that can be hurtful, make poor decisions, and allow ourselves to feel unworthy. The reality is that no matter how crumpled, stepped on, or out of sorts we may feel, we always keep our full value—that which is love.
Love is about reciprocity. Love doesn’t worry about being liked and having approval. Love exists within our inabilities, imperfections, and faults—and our value never decreases. Relationships built on wanting to be liked will waiver; relationships built on loving our worth and the worth of each person we meet—priceless.
Peace, Mary Anne
Dedicated to Rev. Joyce Meyer for reminding me of my value & letting go.
March OM Meditations
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
In keeping with the rhythm of sharing monthly meditations and the new season of Spring, I invite you to join me in celebrating March with some meditations and contemplative questions as a way to open up to more love.
As an invitation, feel free to close your eyes, sit with your spine straight and take a few soft breaths. Then inhale a little deeper through your nose, and on the exhale, repeat the mantra OM (AUM). Do this three times. Allow yourself to really feel everything and become the observer of your thoughts. Feel free to focus on one question or statement below and just allow your experience to unfold
Love What Is Now. Love What is Now.
I am open to the rhythms of the world.
Beloved, what do you hear in the silence?
“I love you and you are perfect exactly as you are.”
How do you become an observer of your thoughts? What practices allow you to see things as they are?
We show up with love and that is all grief needs to flow into grace. We show up with love because in the end that’s all we really need.
What seeds (inside yourself) are you watering?
The invitation is to be open for whatever thoughts flow through you. Allow your mind and body to expand into the experience (without judgment). Feel free to start with whatever mantra calls to you.
May you experience the bursting of seeds within your heart and mind. Take time to water the garden of you!
In every moment, there is grace,
Mary Anne