Posts Tagged ‘Byron Katie’
“Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are”
Thursday, October 15th, 2009
Back in May of this year, I posted a blog about a MTA mystical moment. I was able to turn around what could have been seen as an annoying long commute into a learning experience. Each day I commute from the Bronx into Manhattan is an opportunity to learn more about patience, kindness, and the art of allowing. Every time I get on a subway for at least an hour I get to be present to what is happening around me. I watch fellow New Yorker’s trudge, push, shove, and curse their ways onto the train. I also watch as folks hold the doors open, give up their seats to the elderly, and help sick passengers.
I recently had another MTA mystical moment. I had been listening to Byron Katie’s book, A Thousand Names for Joy – Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are, on my iPod. This book takes excerpts of the Tao Te Ching and provides everyday pearls of wisdom by questioning any thoughts that keep us stuck. Every morning I play a few chapters, listen to it, and see how I can apply the lesson. If nothing else, the words are soft, gentle, and full of peace – a nice way to start any morning.
As what usually happens in a typical week commuting to the city, there was a delay on the subway. Most days, I don’t even hear the garbled voice over the intercom announcing the delay. On this particular day, I had to be at work early because I was giving a workshop. I left enough time to get there, even if the train was a little delayed. The train came to a stop after going about five stops. The doors remained open and we were not moving. Then the loud booming voice came through the speakers. “We are currently experiencing a delay due to an unconscious passenger. We are waiting for EMT to arrive. Once EMT is on the scene, we will proceed. Sorry for any inconvenience and we thank you for your patience.” There it was – a clear message of what was happening and why we were delayed. I looked up and saw people grab cell phones to call or text their jobs about being late. People started mumbling and complaining to one another.
My first reaction was to say a prayer. As we waited for the ambulance to arrive, I was hoping the person would be OK. Off in the distance a loud emergency siren was sounding. I took a deep breath. My eyes were drawn to my iPod – “A Thousand Names for Joy – Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are.” Here was an opportunity to live in harmony with the way things were. There was a passenger who was unconscious and waiting for emergency personnel. Now was my chance to ask myself how I am unconscious in the world. Was there a part of me that needed tending to and emergency attention?
Thankfully, EMT arrived and the trained moved and I was much more conscious the rest of the day. Every delay is a chance to come to a MTA mystical moment and live in harmony if I am open to it.
How are you living in harmony with the way things are?
If you would like to make space for more harmony and more forgiveness, please join me for a 4-week telecourse, “Resting in Radical Forgiveness” starting October 27. http://toningtheom.com/upcoming-events/ – resting
Peace!
Mary Anne
Change the Scenery – Change My Thoughts
Thursday, October 8th, 2009
As I listen to many themes of change – changing seasons, the changing colors of leaves, the changing light, the changes in the Fall TV line-up, I think about areas of my life that I want to change. After a very hectic schedule, I decided to attend a Byron Katie workshop at Kripalu – Center for Yoga & Health. I knew that Kripalu was in the Berkshires and would be a nice way to begin this new season of change. I booked the last weekend in September for this getaway out of the city. I was excited that there was a bus that drops participants right at the front door. This meant having time to sit and read, listen to my iPod and even take a nap. I made my way to 32nd Street and 7th Avenue to take the commuter bus and waited, and waited, and waited. After calling to find out where the bus was, I was told the bus had left without me (and two other participants). The staff was going to make arrangements for us to get there in time for the evening workshop and it meant taking a cab to the East Side and getting on a train. After standing outside for over an hour and half, the questions began to surface: Should I just go home? Is this meant to be? Do I feel like spending more time trying to get to the Berkshires?
I let the questions float around for a few moments. I then looked at the two other folks with me and said, “Are you ready to take the train?” Somewhere deep inside, I knew I needed a change of scenery. I wanted a new perspective on some of the thoughts that had been holding me back. After a two hour train ride, we were picked up by Kripalu staff, given goody bags full of delicious snacks, and then dropped off at the front door where we were given an upgraded room and treated with a lot of kindness and generosity.
I had a choice of believing the thought that this would be a miserable experience after missing the bus, or living through the experience and receiving some gifts. As I listened to Byron Katie (whose mission is to show people how to question their thoughts – known as Inquiry), I just sat and listened to the stories of others, knowing I too was holding on strongly to beliefs for dear life. I have been able to use the following Byron Katie quotes as a form of meditation and wanted to share them:
“I see thoughts as children – as the beloved.”
“What are the thoughts that wake you up to yourself?”
“You are the greatest teacher you will ever run into.”
“Ego’s don’t love, they want something.”
“We make our own decisions, but only ALL of them.”
“What story are you entertaining that is denying you from love?”
“We are only as limited as what we believe in the moment.”
After listening to Byron Katie walk people through questioning their thoughts, I began to question my own thoughts about the bus leaving without me. The bus left. I learned another way of commuting to Kripalu. The bus left. I was able to spend more time with two other amazing people. The bus left and I am still here. I realized it was more than changing my physical scenery to make changes. I needed to change my thoughts. By changing the scenery in my mind, I was able to change my thoughts and give myself an incredible weekend experience.
Peace!
Mary Anne
This is dedicated to Byron Katie for waking me up to ‘myself’. Special thanks to all the staff at Kriplau for their generosity and extraordinary customer service.
“Truth Be Told – I Choose You”
Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
Truth Be Told - I Choose You
I opened up my email from a friend, and read the first line, “Truth be told – I choose you.” Seeing the words on the screen, a flood of tears came. I took a breath and read it again. More tears came rolling down my cheeks. Suddenly, I felt overcome with emotion. I turned the computer off and just repeated the words. I felt a huge release come over my body. I began to shake and I could feel an old protective rusty cage around my heart snap open. My heart felt softer and expansive at the same time. Years of caution and mistrust just melted away with that one powerful line.
My heart felt open and ready to receive love. I wiped the tears from my face and sat quietly. I repeated the line, truth be told – I choose you, over and over again. Voicing the phrase aloud, I felt an enormous power inside that revealed a pure essence that has always been there, but one I had not accepted. Each word in that line was a transformative vibration – truth, be, told, I, choose, you. This phrase represented the grandest invitation to life. This is the experience of totality – the gift of fully inviting another person on your life’s journey. It’s the power of invitation.
When we invite others to join us on our journey, we open ourselves up to a vulnerable place that can reveal incredible gifts. If we really allow others into our hearts, we can experience the fullness of life. One invitation can be the difference in how we experience the world. Inviting others into our world can be a life changing event. Truth be told – I chose you was a spiritual awakening.
I so deeply experienced the intimacy of allowing a friend to connect with my essence – it wasn’t about what I do or who I know – it was about inviting me because of who I AM. I felt like an apostle when Jesus said, “Come, Follow Me.” This is the greatest of faiths. The invitation is about dropping everything to be present with another.
I turned the computer back on, read the line, and smiled. I felt so much gratitude to have such a wonderful friend and hoped she knew just how powerful that opening line was in her message. There was so much relief after so many years of carrying such a protective cage around my heart. Now, my heart feels open to receive more love in every form.
How do you invite more love into your life? Byron Katie says, “Love is action.” Choose to invite someone into your heart. Give the gift of invitation.
Truth Be Told – I Choose You, Too!
Special thanks to my friend for sending me this powerful message of invitation and love. I am blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for opening my heart and feeding my soul.
More Love!
Mary Anne
“Just Listen. Nothing Else to Do…”
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
I had the incredible opportunity to attend a weekend workshop with Byron Katie in New York City. Katie facilitates The Work, which allows you to question the thoughts that cause suffering. It was quite the experience (see my last blog). I often found myself holding my breath as people shared their life stories – the ones that caused them the most suffering. I was in awe and overwhelmed at the same time.
Sitting in a packed room, I was trying to figure out how to process what I was hearing. I decided to text a friend a mine a few lines Katie had said that really touched me. I thought this would allow me to open up more to the experience and feel less alone in the crowded space. About a half hour after sending the text, I received her reply, “Just Listen. Nothing else to do…”
I smiled down at my cell phone and exhaled. My body began to relax and my mind quieted. The text became my new mantra: Just listen – nothing else to do. My whole experience of the workshop shifted as I became more present in the room. Suddenly, I noticed how this huge ballroom with over 300 people became more intimate.
In this new space, I could really listen to Katie’s powerful words and noticed how they just floated in the room. With each breath, I inhaled the words that created an opening in my mind and heart. Here are just a few examples:
“Change the thought and it shifts. There is no other way.”
“It hurts until it doesn’t.”
“When you believe the thoughts about the world, you miss it.”
“My job is to love because it hurts when I don’t.”
“Nothing is ahead of its time.”
“People change when you question what you believe about them.”
“It’s what we believe that hurts.”
“If I see something unacceptable in another person, I have to look at me.”
“The past is over. Look at it without experiencing it.”
“It falls away – a little bit at a time.”
“We are who you believe us to be.”
“Love the one you are with. Sit. Rest. Meditate.”
I am so grateful to my friend for reminding me how to be open with such simplicity.
Just Listen – Nothing Else to Do…
Doing Our Work – One Thought at a Time
Saturday, April 18th, 2009
Recently, I read that we have as many as 65, 000 thoughts a day. Imagine if you caught just one thought and held on to it for a moment. What would the thought say? Whatever it is, it is just a thought. No more and no less – until we give it meaning.
I realized how neutral thoughts are after spending a weekend doing The Work with Byron Katie in New York City with over 3oo hundred people. We had the opportunity to inquire deeper about our thoughts after asking four simple and profound questions.
“Is it True?” (Answer with a yes or no only)
“Can you absolutely know that it is true?” (Answer yes or no only)
“How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?”
“Who would you be without the thought?”
Following the four questions is the Turn Around Statement. “Each turnaround is an opportunity to experience the opposite of your original statement and see what you and the person you’ve judged have in common.” (http://www.thework.com)
Throughout the weekend with Katie, I often sat at the edge of my seat, smiling, laughing, crying, sighing, and at moments holding my breath as people told their personal story. Everyone’s story became my story because there was a lesson about a thought I believed about myself that holds me back. As Katie says, “Listen for what we believe along the way that prevents us from living now.” Katie walked participants through The Work – one thought at a time.
We talked about what happens when we react to our thoughts about infidelity, lies, guilt, and even global torture. Katie challenged us to go beyond what others do to us and ask what we do to ourselves with our thoughts. When are we unfaithful to ourselves? What lies have we told ourselves? Where do we wrong others and torture others in our life? Once I believe something terrible about somebody else and it hurts me, and the hurt makes it true – that is my work. As Katie says, “Once I believe the thought, I become responsible.”
During lunch, Katie sat at a table to sign her books. (I love book signings!) As I stood on line waiting, I wondered what I could possibly say to this amazing teacher. When it was my turn, I opened up her book on the table, and in a soft whisper said, “Thank you.” In Katie style, she looked up, held my hand, and said, “Oh, honey, thank you.” Her beautiful crystal blue eyes stared into mine. I leaned in and said, “I am free.” Her eyes and mine both filled with tears as we stood for a moment in silence. Katie, holding my hand tighter, said, “I love you. I love that you are free.” A soft still moment followed by a big deep breath.
Exhale. I am free – one thought at a time.