Archive for the ‘Life’ Category
All We Have Is This Moment
Monday, July 26th, 2010
“The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.” –Dan Millman
Are you living in the moment? It’s so easy to sway into the past and leap into the future. We are often reminded that gifts are readily available to us if we can stay in the present moment. One of my favorite expressions is, “Love What Is Now.” The only thing that matters is this moment.
There’s a true story that was told in a movie called “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” starring Nick Nolte. In it, Nolte mentors a student in finding his purpose and helps him live in the present moment. At the end of the movie, the two of them have an insightful exchange that goes like this:
Nolte: “Where are you?”
Student: “Right here.”
Nolte: “What time is it?”
Student: “Now.”
Nolte: “What matters most?”
Student: “This moment.”
This is an important and powerful dialogue because it reminds us to choose to be present and live life fully. Why would we choose to be present? Because when we are present, we feel less stress or anxiety about the future and we can release guilt or regret about the past. We feel at ease and peace. Sometimes, we may not like our physical environment or emotional state that we’re in. We can change that by choosing to be present with our thoughts.
How do you choose to be present with yourself? How do you love what is now?
To loving what is now,
Mary Anne
PS I highly recommend the book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman.
I Am a Mirror of You
Thursday, July 22nd, 2010
One day my spiritual teacher asked me what I admired most about a new friend I had just met. I said, “She is smart, creative, and funny. She is generous, kind, and heart-centered. I admire her tenacity, her openness, and dedication to spirituality.” My teacher said, “That sounds a lot like you.” With a smile on my face, I thought, “Really?” She went on to say, “What you see in her is what is inside of you. She is simply a mirror looking back at you.”
What positive aspect of another is showing up in your life as a mirror looking back at you?
Mary Anne
Jump the Waves
Wednesday, July 21st, 2010
I took a couple of days off to go see a concert and hang out by the ocean. There’s nothing like being near the ocean to remind me of how powerful and healing water can be. I felt like a little kid again jumping the waves. I would inch out and swim a little farther into the ocean and feel the water at my back. Depending on the current, I would swim back towards shore, swim under some big waves, or get swept up by the waves. There was an enormous rush each time the waves knocked me off my feet.
I began to notice that each time I went with the flow of the current the easier it was. And every time I hesitated or resisted the waves, the harder they would knock me down. Through it all, I did not struggle with the waves. I simply allowed my body to go with the flow and the rest followed. With resistance, my body toppled all around. Without resistance, my body swayed. I found that I could naturally jump the waves and float in the water.
What are some of the other waves in my life I can naturally jump with ease? Where else does my body go with the flow as a natural state?
Today, I am choosing to allow all of me to go with the flow and the rest will follow.
Mary Anne
Are You Addicted to Comfort?
Thursday, July 15th, 2010
“Your playing small does not serve the world.”
Marianne Williamson
In the book A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”, Marianne Williamson writes, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” Where in your life could you shine your light more? Where are you playing small in the world?
In other words, we can get too comfortable in our day to day activities and allow our fears to get in the way of stepping into our lives more fully. When we think about shining more brightly in the world, we might hear the voice that says, “It’s too hard”, “I can’t”, “Now isn’t a good time for making a change”, “I wouldn’t know where to start”, or “Maybe when the economy gets better.” All of these are the voices of fear that often stop us from living from our heart. Taking a chance on doing something new can seem frightening and consequently we stay in the same place – even if it makes us unhappy.
Staying in the same place, the same job, the same anything even it makes you feel unhappy is what Lisa Haisha refers to as “Comfort Addiction.” In her article, Overcome Your Comfort Addiction, she explains that many people suffer from the addiction of staying in their comfort level even when they feel discontented. It’s the experience of being comfortable in areas of your life that are uncomfortable. We stay at jobs because it is easier than leaving. We don’t start our own companies because we are to scared to risk the security of scheduled work in an office every day. We stay in an unhappy marriage or relationship because we think that’s easier than being alone and starting over.
What would you be doing if you were not playing small? Are you willing to look at your current reality and see where you are and envision where you want to be? Maybe being uncomfortable will give you exactly what you need to create the life, the career, and the changes you have been thinking about.
Create space for what you LOVE to do, rather than fill space with what you are comfortable doing.
Take just one step today and see where it leads you.
Mary Anne
Who Lives on in Your Heart?
Tuesday, July 13th, 2010
The anniversary of my mom’s passing was Monday (July 12) and I can’t believe it has been 10 years. If I close my eyes, I can remember that day like it was yesterday. And yet, so much of my life has changed in the last 10 years. I’ve changed jobs twice, studied shamanism, facilitated drumming circles, traveled to Italy to stay in the Vatican, started my own healing arts company, journeyed to Louisiana to meet Mary Ann, and became a certified life coach. Through all of these transitions and changes, I have had incredible teachers, mentors, therapists, healers, and friends.
The world has changed a lot too. We have seen our first African American President in the United States. We watched the world come together through major tragedies like 9/11, a tsunami in Indonesia, Hurricane Katrina in Louisiana, and an earthquake in Haiti to name just a few. We have helped one another through our times of change and turmoil.
What I have learned over the past ten years is that the earth below our feet moves and shakes. How we deal with a shaking and ever-changing earth is up to us. As the writer Dominique Browning says about life, “It never gets easy. But if we are paying attention, it can get simpler.”
For years I experienced my mom’s passing as the worst grief in my life. I have come to realize these past ten years that she never really left because she lives on through my memories of her, in my work, and in my heart. People never really leave our hearts.
The earth will shake again. This time I will pay more attention and I know it will get simpler.
Who lives on in your heart?
In loving memory of my mom,
Mary Anne
Ahhh…Nothing to Do
Tuesday, July 6th, 2010
Summer seemed so exciting as a kid until the day came when I had nothing to do. I became bored on days when none of my friends were around or rainy summer days. I would mope around the house and tell my mom, “I have nothing to do.” Her reply was, “I’ll find something for you to do.”
Translation: house chores. (I was a master with the carpet sweeper.)
In her book, Slow Love: How I Lost My Job, Put On My Pajamas & Found Happiness, Dominique Browning has a wonderful perspective on the theme of nothing to do:
“Today I am happy to find myself sitting on the ground wanting nothing to do — no, not even wanting it, simply accepting that I am enveloped in nothing to do. I begin to understand how nothing to do is its own state of grace, difficult to find deliberately, near impossible to recognize. Nothing to do means I can sit and look and let my mind wander, then empty, then fill again, with wonder or with grief, with anything or with nothing at all. “Nothing to do” is not the same as “Nothing can be done.” One is hopeless; the other, the place from which hope becomes possible.”
As the summer days start to fill with plans for the beach and weekends away, I long for days filled with nothing to do. I am inviting the adult in me to give myself permission each day to sit and do nothing.
Choose to do nothing and see where it takes you.
Mary Anne
Freedom Means…
Sunday, July 4th, 2010
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. ~Abraham Lincoln
Liberty is the possibility of doubting, of making a mistake,… of searching and experimenting,… of saying No to any authority – literary, artistic, philosophical, religious, social, and even political. ~Ignazio Silone
For what avail the plough or sail, or land or life, if freedom fail?Â
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
No one is free when others are oppressed. ~Author Unknown
Freedom means choosing your burden. ~Hephzibah Menuhin
Freedom is that instant between when someone tells you to do something and when you decide how to respond. ~Jeffrey Borenstein
Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better. ~Albert Camus
Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Happy 4th of July!
Mary Anne
Pride!
Friday, June 25th, 2010
Everywhere I look in NYC, there are rainbow flags. Everyone is gearing up for Pride weekend. It’s a time to celebrate diversity at its best. Most folks don’t even blink an eye when I tell them about my sexuality – in fact, they are happy for me (and my 16 year relationship).
I consider myself lucky to live in a place as “open” as New York City. So, when I am asked why I march, why I come out, why I speak so often and openly about being gay, it’s because many marched before me so I could hold my partner’s hand in public and many will come after me who I hope can do this in every place without retribution or violence.
For me, Pride weekend is a time I get to sing and dance in the streets while holding my partner’s hand. While this may seem like a small act, the truth is there are many places where it is not safe for gay couples to be open. And like many other gay people, I have been called derogatory names. I have been called “faggot”, “dyke”, “homo” among other things. And while all the names may be true, the venom with which they are spoken has been full of hate. I have been spit at, had glass bottles thrown at me, and told I have ruined civilization and I will be sent to hell.
I stand proud of who I am and invite you to stand with me. And this weekend, you might just hear me singing at the top of my lungs, “New York City, New York City, Loud and Proud, Loud and Proud!”
To celebrating the Pride in each of us,
Mary Anne
Are You Taking Up a Seat?
Monday, May 17th, 2010
I have noticed more and more people sitting and taking up two seats on the subway. Most seem oblivious to the fact that they are stretched out while others are crammed into a subway car. I, like many others, have approached these folks to politely ask to sit down. There are folks who take up only one seat and are just as oblivious. While sitting at baseball games I have seen a lot of folks in very expensive seats who are busy texting, emailing, and some even leaving for two innings or more.
These experiences led me to start thinking about all the times we take up a seat in life. What we do while in our seat, how we offer others our seat, and what we contribute while in that seat is what really matters. What will you do with your chance to sit in that seat? What value do you want to offer others – even when it is difficult – even when your voice is the opposite one of what is being said? How many meetings, conventions, or events do you want to attend and not offer anything to the conversation?
How many times have I taken up a seat and have not been present to the conversation or what is happening around me? Next time I take up a seat, what will my contribution be?
Is that seat taken?
Mary Anne
Listening to My Father’s Wisdom
Monday, May 10th, 2010
Growing up, my father had many expressions: “Take your time, but don’t be long”; “You can always replace money, but you can’t replace a person”; “It takes a lot longer to fill out an accident report than it does to take your time on the road” and on and on. He also had his way of imparting values of how his daughters ought to be in the world. If I had to sum up the four cornerstones of how to live life through my father’s expressions, it would be this:
Tell the Truth.
It’s a lot easier to remember the truth and own up if you have done something. It’s a lot harder to remember the lies or stories and the truth always gets revealed.
Say Please/Thank You.
Manners say a lot about a person. There is such respect in an exchange that includes a please or thank you. In the end, people feel connected and want to help when they hear polite words.
Never Hate (Disliking Is OK).
You don’t have to like everybody, but hating serves no purpose and is only draining. Plus, the cost to hate is more hurtful to the one hating. Do we really need more enemies?
Quiet Please Rather Than Shut Up.
There is nothing worse than being stifled or put down. We can be kinder and gentler with one another. Asking for quiet brings peace back to us.
Think about the wisdom your family has shared with you and how it has shown up in your life and the values you teach others. I am grateful that my parents demonstrated generosity, service, and strong work values.
Thank you, Dad.
Mary Anne