Archive for the ‘Learning’ Category
The NYC Subway Is My Teacher
Monday, April 19th, 2010
After more than 18 years of taking the NYC subway, I still am learning lessons of patience and opportunity. I take the subway into Manhattan daily to go to work. It’s pretty tedious and most days I drive on autopilot to park my car near the subway. I hop on an “express train”, which takes about an hour to get into lower Manhattan from the Bronx. I have become accustomed to delays due to “train traffic”, “sick passengers”, “signal malfunction”, and “police activity” (and other delays that are not announced, but am sure are for good reasons). Just recently, the MTA announced that due to necessary track work, my express train is going to run local in both directions until August 2011. This translates into an additional 15-20 minutes on the train (despite the MTA saying it would mean an additional 5 minutes). For the next year and half, my train will run on the local track.
I started this local commute a few weeks ago and realized I was standing a long time. By the time I got to my office, I noticed I was more tired and cranky. The first thought was to blame the MTA and their track work. Then I blamed the train for being too crowded. I was getting ready to go onto a new rant, when I stopped myself and asked what this slower ride could teach me. I realized that this slower commute was an opportunity. I had more time to read, to draft ideas, to scan a blog, to nap, and to meditate. With the train moving slower, I was able to notice the sunrises and sunsets that I normally just blinked through.
Then I began to list other ways I could commute into the city. I could take the express bus or try a different train route. The NYC Subway became my teacher. It taught me that I could slow down and that I have options. How many times have I thought I must do something one way and that’s the only way it could be done? And why am I in such a rush to get into the city? Is slowing down such a bad thing?
The subway ride is teaching me to slow down. I can look at other areas of my life and see I have options. And most importantly, I don’t have to always be on the express track.
Are you willing to get off the express track in life and head onto the local?
Mary Anne
Time to Eat the Frog
Tuesday, April 6th, 2010
When I first heard the phrase, Eat the Frog during a workshop with Janice Hoffmann, I was both hesitant and interested. Curious to hear more, I leaned forward to find out what Janice was talking about. Essentially, Eat the Frog means starting your day by tackling the most challenging thing on your list. Develop the habit of doing the hardest thing first – the thing you put off to the end of the day – the one that never gets done. It’s about creating space in our day to do what we love. If we put off eating the frog, it’s always there, waiting for us.
We spend so much time on smaller tasks, we run out of time to do what might need the most inspiration or energy. We multi-task in the hopes more can get done and then wonder why we feel so exhausted. There was a time being able to do ten things at once made us feel successful. But all we need to do is one task a time with full attention. Eating the frog is about performing a task that is crucial for our growth, our business, or our life, even if it is not fun. In the end, eating the frog gets us farther.
How do you prepare for your day? What do you really want to pay attention to and complete? Successful people know how to eat the frog. Entrepreneurs eat the frog every day – they take risks. Listen for the most important task, write it down, and do it. Think about the last time you wanted five more minutes of sleep or will go for that walk tomorrow – how did you end up feeling?
We tell ourselves we don’t have enough time. We may not have time for everything we want to do, but we always have enough time to do everything we choose to do.
Go ahead – Eat the Frog!
Mary Anne
Loving Our Worth—Priceless
Monday, April 5th, 2010
Every now and again we question our worth—our value. We spend time thinking about our own value and our value in relationships. I recently had an experience where I allowed thoughts about my value with a friend get in the way of my friendship. I convinced myself that my friend was moving on to bigger and better things in her life, building her business, and on the path to finding her soul mate. I translated this to mean she no longer “needed” me and I doubted my value in her life. I questioned our friendship and in doing so devalued both of us.
I allowed my fear to get in the way of our friendship. It’s like the story of the fifty-dollar bill. A workshop speaker stands at the front of a seminar and holds up a fifty-dollar bill. He asks the audience who would like the fifty-dollar bill. Almost all the hands go up. He lets them know he will give it to one of them, but first takes the bill and begins to crumple it into a ball. He asks the audience again, “Who wants this bill?” Many people still raise their hands. Next, he takes the bill and places it on the floor and grinds his shoe into it.
“Now who wants the bill?” the speaker asks. People still raise their hand. He smiles and tells the audience that just because he crumpled up the money and stepped all over it, it did not decrease the value—it’s still worth fifty dollars.
Many times, we feel like that crumpled bill. We make mistakes, we say things that can be hurtful, make poor decisions, and allow ourselves to feel unworthy. The reality is that no matter how crumpled, stepped on, or out of sorts we may feel, we always keep our full value—that which is love.
Love is about reciprocity. Love doesn’t worry about being liked and having approval. Love exists within our inabilities, imperfections, and faults—and our value never decreases. Relationships built on wanting to be liked will waiver; relationships built on loving our worth and the worth of each person we meet—priceless.
Peace, Mary Anne
Dedicated to Rev. Joyce Meyer for reminding me of my value & letting go.
What Informs You?
Thursday, March 25th, 2010
Have we all lost our minds? It’s the only explanation I have for the savage way some people have responded to the new Health Care Reform that was just passed (i.e. throwing bricks into people’s windows, making threats to families of Democratic members of Congress). Obviously, many people have strong opinions about Health Care – as they should, it’s our health we are talking about. But my question is, whose opinion do we have? Is it our own educated opinion or is it the opinion of talking heads on the television or radio?
How do you become informed? Who do you listen to? When you are listening, are you even aware of how your body is reacting? What informs you? If the health care conversation is causing great stress and struggle, anger and resentment, what could you do to become calm and centered in whatever actions you may want to take?
I have been curious to hear all sides. I want to know what people like about the Health Care Reform and what they don’t and why—not just generic comments, but specific ideas. It’s about being curious, being educated, being open, being willing to listen, and most of all, being civil.
Who you are will inform how you will respond. How do you want to BE?
Here is to civility prevailing over violence.
Mary Anne
Empty and Full
Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010
I am a creature of habit. Every morning, after getting ready for work, I check my emails, read a few blogs, and scan some ‘tweets’ on Twitter. I look for inspirational quotes, stories, and book recommendations that make my mind and heart expand. I always find something.
Recently, I read a tweet of a Haiku poem by Stevie Ray Robinson, and I immediately emailed it to myself so I could print it out and put it in my journal. It expressed in a few words the simplicity of being empty and full, and fading illusions.
Beginning and end…
Empty and full of all thoughts…
Illusions fade now
Each word has meaning. The words, empty and full of all thoughts, repeated in my head. There is a sense of flow and nonattachment. In infinite time and space, my habits could be less restrictive and more expansive. As I create new habits of self-love, self-care, deeper connections, expressing my voice, and writing daily, this Haiku reminds me of something my beloved teacher and friend taught me many years ago with the expression, “We ought to take our work very seriously, but not take ourselves so seriously.
Some of my habits will fade away and the ones that remain will be full of passion, happiness, and love. May every word I express today be generous and expansive.
To being empty and full,
Mary Anne
Thank you Stevie Ray Robinson for sharing your beautiful Haiku. I want to dedicate this blog to my friend Louis Alloro for deepening my understanding of limitless time.
Popcorn Ceremony
Thursday, February 18th, 2010
While visiting a youth program in the Bronx last month, a young boy looked up at me and asked, “Do you want to join our popcorn ceremony?” I told him I would love to join his popcorn ceremony and asked him to tell me more about it. “Well, it’s very special”, he told me. “First, you have to have all the ingredients, put them on the table, pour the special corn in the popper, wait a few moments because at first it seems as though nothing happens because the popcorn is so quiet. Then, it gets very loud and the corn pops like crazy. Look, we can even dance while it’s popping.” A few boys start swinging and swaying as the popcorn maker shakes on the table. After a few sporadic pops, the boy opens the lid and ever so gently pours the popcorn into a striped glass bowl. He then whispers thank you to the popcorn, takes a handful, and passes it around to the other boys in the group. Each boy is careful to only put what fits in their hands to eat and they keep passing the bowl around. We pass the bowl around at least ten times.
I have been to wedding ceremonies, prayer ceremonies, fire ceremonies, and even tea ceremonies, but this was my first ever popcorn ceremony! Given the right attention, openness, reverence, could more of what I experience be ceremony? If young boys can pay attention to their popcorn and create a ritual out of that, could I be more mindful of the rituals I create in my life?
After finishing the popcorn, the young boy looked at me and asked, “Did you like our popcorn ceremony?” I told him it was one of the most fun and sacred ceremonies I have ever been to in my life. They asked me to define sacred – and it was with ease that I told them it was the purposeful act of paying attention to their popcorn and each other. “It is the respect you gave to making popcorn as well as helping each other and sharing it.”
“We have popcorn ceremony every day. Will you come back?” Yes, I will.
Let’s share more ceremony,
Mary Anne
Creating a “triZENbe” in 2010
Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
As 2010 arrived with anticipation, so too did all the questions. What do I want to happen in 2010? What are the deepest contributions I can offer others this year? What is my focus/theme for 2010? What I am willing to do afraid?
At first, these questions became quite overwhelming. To answer them, I decided I would get still and just listen. I repeated the questions over and over as mantras. My focus for 2010 came to me with the words ZEN and TRIBE. I want the peace of stillness and the love from gathering people in welcoming, generous, and supportive ways.
Can I create a new energy of both ZEN and TRIBE? Yes, because it already exists inside of me. I am naming this new energy: triZENbe. This year I will focus on being still before leading, gathering people in whatever ways I can to generate more tribes, and creating community meditations. The triZENbe definition is still unfolding and it is very exciting. I hope you will join me on this journey.
What contribution will you offer yourself and others? What are some things you are willing to do afraid? Create your own triZENbe. Experience the whole you in 2010!
Here is to Zen filled peace and the fullness of gathering in tribes,
Mary Anne
Lessons Learned in 2009
Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
I spent this week rereading all the blogs I posted this year. Each one felt like a personal recipe for living, learning, & loving. Each blog held a nugget of hope, a spark of light, & moments of absolute love. I have put together some of the best quotes from my blogs of 2009. May they give you the hope, light, & love that is already awakening in every way.
“Starting over means we can release the past without judgment and move forward without baggage.”
“Forgiveness is not an act; it’s a process. In order to forgive, there must be a journey of going to the place of healing. It’s coming to a place and resting – just resting.”
“The question then becomes, are we willing to practice and share peace with one another? It starts with each person being peace. We can then see peace in each other. Each of us can be the peace story.”
“Do it afraid. Whatever the ‘it’ is, do it, live it, breathe it…Do it anyway. Do it despite yourself.”
“The phrase “Truth Be Told, I Choose You” represented the grandest invitation to life. This is the experience of totality – the gift of fully inviting another person on your life’s journey.”
“When I am open, the world is open, when I am grateful, the world is grateful.”
“I am the one I have been waiting for. The teacher I have been waiting for is me.”
“How are we prisoners to our own minds and project it out to the world? Freedom starts with each one of us. Step forward for yourself and for another.”
“Here was an opportunity to live in harmony with the way things were. Now was my chance to ask myself how I am unconscious in the world.”
“How much is mind chatter costing you? Stillness is free.”
“Imagine taking a planned break to clear yourself of all distractions. Perhaps we are not ready or able to take a year off, but what if we could actually plan in our calendar a sabbatical to generate new ideas, listen to our inner creative voice, and appreciate our work as a calling.”
“As we prepare for a season of “Peace on Earth”, may each exchange this season be one of love and presence. It’s the economy of the heart that I am looking to build this coming year. It’s increasing our capacity to love that I am hoping to stimulate.”
Happy New Year! Here’s to learning more lessons ~ Mary Anne
My Favorite Books in 2009
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
As an avid reader, I search out books that will broaden my thinking, open my heart, teach new ideas, and provide inspiration. I have put together my list of the best books I have read in 2009 (many of which were not published in 2009). Rather than give a synopsis of each book, I am including the book title, author, and a quote that moved me or inspired me. Hope you enjoy. Please feel free to recommend books you think I ought to add to my 2010 list.
(PS I will be sharing some of my best inspired lessons, insights, & meditations of 2009 in an upcoming blog~ stay tuned!)
My Favorite Books of 2009:
My Stoke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor
“By paying attention to the choices my automatic circuitry is making, I own my power and make more choices consciously. In the long run, I take responsibility for what I attract in my life.”
A Whole New Mind by Daniel H. Pink
“Design. Story. Symphony. Empathy. Play. Meaning. These six senses increasingly will guide our lives and shape our world.”
The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist
“Reciprocity allows us to acknowledge each other in appreciation of our unique gifts. Reciprocity is like the breath we breathe in – no more than we need.”
Radical Forgiveness by Colin C. Tipping
“We recognize that Divine Love operates in every situation and that each person receives exactly what they want.”
Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strought (this is the only fiction book on the list)
“Don’t be scared of your hunger. If you’re scared of your hunger, you’ll be one more ninny like everyone else.”
I Need Your Love – Is That True? by Byron Katie
“Your most intimate relationship is the one you have with your thoughts.”
Who Would You Be Without Your Story? by Byron Katie (Yes, she is that good!)
“I have come to see that this mind is seeking a place to rest. It’s seeking peace.”
A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
“Love in your mind produces love in your life.”
Who’s Got Your Back by Keith Ferrazzi
“Each of us is responsible for creating the safe place. It is a conscious choice that we make to create the environment that invites others in.”
The Horse Boy by Rupert Isaacson
“To “cure” him, in terms of trying to tear the autism out, now seems to me completely wrong. Why can’t he exist between the worlds, with a foot in both, as many neurotypical people do?”
Happy reading! Mary Anne
Words That Jazz You! Unearth – Radical – Koan
Friday, December 4th, 2009
![Scrabble[1]](http://toningtheom.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Scrabble11-150x150.jpg "Scrabble[1]")
For as long as I can remember, I have loved writing. When I was in grammar school I had a habit of skipping words in my sentences which made teachers have to guess what I was thinking. They would fill in the blank and while it didn’t give me an A grade, it did provide much amusement to my teachers (which I found out much later). This love of writing includes a fascination with words, their origins, and their numerous meanings.
My fascination with words was sparked earlier this year when I wrote a post on Facebook that talked about giving a course on Radical Forgiveness. A friend commented on my status with information on the origin of the word radical. He told me it comes from the Latin word radic-, radix, which means root. It reminded me of the origin of other words I have learned over the years. For example, the words “perfection” and “perfect” come from Latin expression perficio, which means to finish or bring to an end.
When I come across a word I resonate with, the word repeatedly appears. One of my favorite words is “unearthing” and I have now come across that word many times. In his book, Catfish and Mandala, Andrew X. Pham wrote, “Where is this place I am seeking? There is only ash. Secretly, I am thankful no one is witnessing this unearthing of my roots.” Now, the words radical and unearthing appear in books I read, conversations I have, and even in the news.
There are also times I have used an uncommon word and suddenly it shows up in my life. While on vacation this past Fall, I used the word “koan” in a game of Scrabble. A koan is described as an unanswerable question or statement not comprehensible by rationale understanding. It’s not a word one would use in everyday conversation unless one uses this as part of their meditation practice. When I returned from vacation, I received Byron Katie’s newsletter and the header was “Katie’s Koans.” Two weeks later while in a bookstore, I saw a book titled, Bring Me The Rhinoceros and Other Zen Koans. I picked it up and started reading it when suddenly the man standing next to me said, “That’s my book. Would you like me to sign it for you?” Words not only appear, but so do the authors!
And just last week, while shopping at the Union Square Crafts Fair in NYC, I visited the Nicola and the Newfounderlander booth. They put together magnets and pins of words that have disappeared from usage, such as, macarism, – “to find joy in another’s happiness”; eustress, – “something that makes you both a little crazy and a little happy, but a little more happy than crazy”; and my favorite is maieutic, which means, “to give birth to ideas.”
I wonder what new words will now be more present in my life. May you unearth a radical koan that will maieutic to more in your life! What’s your favorite word? Is there a word that keeps showing up in your life? Let’s have some radical play!
Have fun! Mary Anne