Archive for the ‘Forgiveness’ Category
Occupy Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 26th, 2011
The peace you are seeking is seeking you. The forgiveness you are waiting for is waiting for you. ~Enlightened One
This week I picked up an old favorite to re-read — Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist, was imprisoned in Auschwitz and Dachau, and he writes eloquently about his harrowing experiences in the death camps. It was through unimaginable suffering that Frankl was able to find meaning not only in his life, but to fully understand how others find meaning in theirs. He writes in his book, “When we are no longer able to change a situation…we are challenged to change ourselves.”
How can we change ourselves? Viktor Frankl writes, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” I have been choosing an attitude of “Occupy Forgiveness” for a few months. Forgiveness has taught me to live in the present and leave the past behind. When I find myself seeking peace, I have noticed that peace is seeking me.
Are there people and situations in your life you are still carrying around with anger, disappointment, and sadness? Please join me on a journey of peace in an upcoming telecourse on Forgiveness. Resting in Radical Forgiveness telecourse starts Monday, November 7 at 8PM (ET). Peace, Mary Anne
Cultivate More Good
Friday, July 8th, 2011
I spent the holiday weekend reading Noah Levine’s new book, The Heart of the Revolution. It’s an incredible book about challenging ourselves to do the hard work of opening our minds and hearts to more compassion, more forgiveness, and more love. Levine refers to the spiritual 1%ers who are the ones willing to put in the effort of meditation and mindfulness. In one chapter, he uses a phrase cultivate the good. It became a mantra for the rest of the day and the weekend.
How do I cultivate the good? How can I cultivate more good? I sat in meditation and asked for a deeper understanding of cultivating the good. After 15 minutes, I wrote the following:
Cultivating the good starts with living your soul moments rather than your survival moments. It’s recognizing all the good in yourself and sharing it with the world. It’s stretching beyond all doubt and fear into the place of joy. You are bigger than any one moment. It’s releasing doubt. Anger is merely fear and fear is merely doubt. When did you stop believing love? Take a deeper look inside. What is your loving heart saying to you? Can you meet yourself with kindness?
Cultivate the good – grow a garden of love in your heart and remember to water it daily. Cultivate more good. Cultivate more love.
Today, I will meet myself with more kindness and cultivate the good.
Mary Anne
Striking at the Root of Bullying: Lead with Love
Thursday, March 3rd, 2011
In this series, MyOutSpirit.com asks LGBTQ spiritual leaders what the root causes of bullying are and how we can heal them in our children and ourselves.
{Mary Anne Flanagan, Toning the OM, contributed to the series}
Anytime we remove human dignity, we are bullying. Whether in the streets of Libya or Cairo, classrooms in the inner city, college dorm rooms, or Gay Pride Parades – when we make others feel less-than with our words or actions – we are bullies. It’s the mentality of creating separation through comparison.
We have grown up with it – winter/summer, light/dark, right/left, masculine/feminine, power/vision and on and on. But maybe now is the time to release dissimilar energies and welcome complimentary opposites. This offers all of us an opportunity to look more deeply at our “us-vs-them” mentality.
In his book, Us and Them: Understanding Your Tribal Mind, David Berreby explains why people are wedded to the notion that they belong to differing tribe-like categories. David Berreby describes how each person creates his own mind map, identifies others with similar mind maps and ostracizes all those who are different. Based in solid scientific research, David Berreby exposes new discoveries about the mind and brain. It’s a book about looking at “human-kind” thinking.
According to neuroscience research, there are approximately 20,000 moments in each day. A moment is defined as the few seconds our brains record an experience. At every moment we are presented with either an opportunity or a threat. Since the beginning of time, we were more likely to view the world as a threat – survival of the fittest. But through evolution, we have learned to co-operate, collaborate, and co-habitate.
To continue reading this article, please go to:
http://gayspirituality.typepad.com/blog/2011/03/striking-at-the-root-of-bullying-lead-with-love.html
What Would Love Do?
Monday, January 10th, 2011
Many of us were shocked after watching the news about a 22-year old that went on a shooting spree that killed six people and wounded 14. I am finding that as more information is revealed about both the suspect and the victims, it is difficult to make any sense of the tragedy. All of our thoughts and prayers are with U.S. congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and all the other victims and their families.
What have we learned from this tragedy? I know I have learned that blame and violence hold no purpose in all of this. As my sister-in-law wrote, “We all need to stop blaming one another and simply agree that violence and violent metaphors have no place in American political discourse.”
It only takes one to heal. It only takes one to forgive. What would love do if we allowed it to heal our fear of one another?
As more facts get revealed and emotions rise, I invite each of us to keep asking: What would love do?
Mary Anne
Give and Forgive
Thursday, December 23rd, 2010
“It is your forgiveness that will bring the world of darkness to the light…Forgiveness is the demonstration that you are the light of the world. Through your forgiveness does the truth about you return to your memory.” A Course in Miracles – Lesson 62
In this season of giving, one of the best gifts you can give is forgiveness. Living the love that we are is a gift we give ourselves. Forgiveness is a gift we can share and remind ourselves of our capacity to love. Unwrap your heart and forgive at least one person this season.
Who are you willing to forgive this season?
Forgiveness is opening to endless love.
Mary Anne
Forgiveness Brings Peace to All
Thursday, October 21st, 2010
“I want to forgive my father for kicking me out of the house, hating and rejecting me. And I want to forgive myself for believing him.” ~Email from a teenager
How has forgiveness brought peace to your life and your heart?
According to Positive Psychology founder, Martin Seligman, forgiveness can actually increase our overall health and well-being. As Seligman says, “People who are forgiving have less anger, less depression, less hostility, and are less neurotic and less vengeful. Forgiveness increases your own happiness.”
When asked if he has forgiven China, the Dalai Lama said (paraphrased): “They’ve stolen my land and country. I’m not going to let them steal my mind.”
To deepen your experiences of forgiveness, register for the upcoming 4-week course on radical forgiveness:
Resting in Radical Forgiveness 4-Week Telecourse
In this 4-week telecourse we will deeply examine forgiveness from many points of view. We will see where we are carrying the pain of not forgiving and why it is important to be free. We will spend time looking at the 4 levels of forgiveness.
You will leave the course with a deeper understanding of resting in radical forgiveness and the impact it has on your daily life. Guided meditation/imagery, deep listening, examining world views, and inspired writing are all a part of this course.
Mon., November 1, 8, 15, & 22, 2010. 8:00PM – 9:00PM(EST)
Investment: $99 (Limited to 10 participants).
Location: On the phone. The teleconference number will be given upon registration.
Pre-Registration Required: Email Mary Anne Flanagan at maflanagan@toningtheom.com
What Does Forgiveness Mean?
Monday, October 11th, 2010
Last week I received a response from one of my blogs about Tolerance. A young boy wrote that he was kicked out of his house because his father found out he was gay. He told me how ashamed and scared he felt. But even more powerful was when he said, “I want to forgive my father for hating and rejecting me. And I want to forgive myself for believing him.”
What parts of ourselves have we not forgiven?
If you are interested in expanding your thoughts and experiences about forgiveness, join me for an upcoming Resting in Radical Forgiveness 4-week telecourse (on the phone from the comfort of your own home).
In this 4-week telecourse we will deeply examine forgiveness from many points of view. We will see where we are carrying the pain of not forgiving and why it is important to be free. We will spend time looking at the 4 levels of forgiveness. You will leave the course with a deeper understanding of resting in radical forgiveness and the impact it has on your daily life. Guided meditation/imagery, deep listening, examining world views, and inspired writing are all a part of this course.
Monday’s, November 1, 8, 15, & 22, 2010 at 8:00PM – 9:00PM (ET)
For more information and/or to register: http://toningtheom.com/events/?event_id=105
Peace!
Mary Anne
“Human-Kind”
Wednesday, October 6th, 2010
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” ~Lao Tzu
As I was listening to the reports of the tragic suicide of Tyler Clementi, I was saddened by the disregard for basic humanity and dignity. I recently wrote a blog about Tolerance and the cost of intolerance. The tragic wave of suicides among young people who have been targeted because of their sexuality has prompted many news stories. This offers all of us an opportunity to reach out to young people as well as look more deeply at our “us vs. them” mentality.
In his book, Us and Them: Understanding Your Tribal Mind, David Berreby explains why people are wedded to the notion that they belong to differing tribe-like categories. David Berreby describes how each person creates his own mind map, identifies others with similar mind maps and ostracizes all those who are different. Based in solid scientific research, David Berreby exposes new discoveries about the mind and brain. It’s a book about looking at “human-kind” thinking.
What is your “human-kind thinking?”
Mary Anne
How Do You Show Yourself Compassion?
Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
While giving my forgiveness telecourse, I read a quote by Pema Chodron:
“It all starts with loving-kindness for oneself, which in turn becomes loving-kindness for others. As the barriers come down around our own hearts, we are less afraid of other people. We are more able to hear what is being said, see what is front of our eyes, and work in accord with what happens rather than struggle against it.”
The forgiveness course is about making space for more love, peace and forgiveness in our hearts and in our lives. Each week has a specific focus and last week our focus was compassion. I shared with students my definition of compassion:
Compassion is our capacity to love – without the story attached to it. It’s the acts of doing and the heart of being. It’s being our own best friend & having the capacity to befriend others.
I ask students in the course to share how they show themselves loving-kindness and compassion. We take time to reflect and write down a few ways we are compassionate with ourselves. In every course, many students struggle to name ways of how they treat themselves with loving-kindness and compassion. It reminds me of how hard we are on ourselves and that giving comes from our capacity to give to ourselves too. Compassion is our ability to find relief and lead with our hearts.
The invitation is to practice compassion with yourself. Notice ways you show yourself loving-kindness. Ask how does loving-kindness and compassion show up in my life and HOW do I respond when it does?
As the Dalai Lama says, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
Mary Anne
Second Chances
Thursday, June 10th, 2010
As I was finishing up at the dentist office, I was speaking with my hygienist about some of the work I do with mentoring. I ended one of my sentences with, “Everyone deserves second chances.” At that very moment my dentist walked in and said, “You think everyone deserves second chances?” I told him I thought most everyone deserved a second chance. With that, my dentist went off with a litany of people he thought should never have a second chance. I noticed that I was getting annoyed, so I quietly responded, “I think many of us make mistakes, take the consequences, and deserve another chance.” His response was, “You know what we call a liberal? Someone who has never been mugged.” He concluded by telling me that most people don’t deserve second chances.
I left the office and started thinking about all the mistakes I have made and how so many people have given me a second chance. How long must we pay for a mistake we have made in the past?
Later that evening, I thought about how quickly our mind can go to labeling people and ideas, and about second chances. Do I really believe in second chances?
The universe must have heard my question because in the Sunday New York Times there was an article on parole. The article was about a woman who had committed a crime at 18 and paid for her mistake by serving time until age 41.
As she said in the article, “I still have those dreams of not being able to leave prison, like I’m still in there trying to get out. Why am I still struggling to get out?”
I realized that our minds can be more of a prison than sitting in a room with bars on the window. In what ways are we in prison with our thoughts, beliefs, and actions?
Yes, mistakes will be made and we must accept consequences of our choices. And, yes, I do believe in second chances.
Mary Anne