June 3rd, 2020
“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing there are still helpers; so many caring people in this world.” Fred Rogers
At a time of upheaval and uncertainty; at a time when the world seems upside down, and those who have been oppressed for so long, I look for the helpers. I look for those being of service.
When I feel overwhelmed, my first response is to pause and to sit in stillness. I want to listen to what’s happening inside. It is only from that space and place that I can truly listen to what is happening outside. Sitting in stillness helps me have clarity about what I am feeling and what I am called to do next.
There is so much sorrow (and rage) over the death of George Floyd and the recent death of black lives. We can no longer turn our backs on those who experience inequality, injustice, and senseless violence. Real change starts with each one of us. We must be the change. We must be invested in changing ourselves and educating ourselves. We must be invested in changing leaders who have stopped listening. We must be invested in listening, leaning in, and serving.
We must look for the helpers. And we must be the helpers. We need to start opening our hearts, our minds, and ourselves. We must be of service to those who don’t have a voice. Change starts heart by heart; mind by mind.
Please be of service to those who don’t have a voice. Please be sure to vote in every election, especially local ones. Please consider looking at organizations doing some of the work in communities bringing change. Please check out Color of Change, an organization that designs powerful campaigns to end practices of injustice for black people and champion solutions to move forward.
Toning the OM is committed to advocating for change and supporting racial justice through education and service. We too grieve with all those suffering loss. We are invested in listening, learning, leaning in, and being of service.
Tags: Collective Care, George Floyd, Grieve, Healing. Change, Humanity, Justice, Learn, Listen, Pay Attention, Restore, Service
Posted in Peaceful Actions | Toning the Om
May 28th, 2020
The last few months have either kept us home bound or out in the field as essential workers. Each has had its own pain and worry. Finding beauty has been a struggle. Finding beauty within even more a struggle. I look for my heart-centered practices to remind me that there is always beauty — even when I can’t find it, especially when I can’t find it.
I turn to meditation, reading, writing, bird-watching, and taking photos. All of these practices bring me back to stillness. Looking at the rising or setting sun reminds me to notice light, colors, and nature. I took a photo of a recent sunset that reminded me of a painting. As I told a friend, “The light made the photo look like a paintbrush touching the earth.”
My meditation the next day included listening to the question:
What beauty am I painting in the world?
We are all painters using our lives as brushes to enhance (or not) the world and fill it with more beauty. What beauty are you painting?
Posted in Storytelling | Toning the Om
April 7th, 2020
Just for this moment is a phrase that showed up in my meditation. It is a phrase that is keeping me grounded. I have said many times to myself as a reminder to stay present to now.
Meditation:
Just for this moment feel without seeking another experience.
Feel the sensations in your whole body.
Let them move, intensify or dissipate.
Allow your feelings to stay or leave.
Bow to your feelings.
Just for this moment be silent or let your voice be heard.
Be gentle with yourself.
Know that your heart is vast and can hold your feelings.
Be a sanctuary for yourself.
Just for this moment.
Tags: Attune, Feelings, Grounded, Life Coach, Listen, Meditation, Present, This Moment, Whole Body
Posted in Meditation | Toning the Om
March 26th, 2020
I had tickets for today’s Opening Day Mets game at Citi Field with my brother-in-law. Given everything happening right now, this seems really trivial. But the Mets remind me of my family, especially my dad. He was a huge fan and raised his daughters to be as well. Every season my dad and I would talk about the Mets roster and line-up. You could always find a Mets game on his television at home and even in the hospital as he grew increasingly ill. After his passing, I placed three flowers on the field by third base on the last day of the 2018 season in his memory.
The Mets have provided a form of comfort and relief throughout my life. After my mom passed away in the summer of 2000, I would watch games on the weekends. It would be the most beautiful Sunday and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch the Mets.
So missing Opening Day is more than just missing a baseball game — it’s about my connection to my family and missing my parents. It’s losing a place of joy and comfort and an outlet for grief. I really miss baseball.
And my hope is that we can all bring baseball back by staying home.
Please take time to notice where grief is showing up for you and know you are not alone.
Tags: Comfort, Family, Grief, NY Mets, Opening Day at Home
Posted in Storytelling | Toning the Om
March 13th, 2020
In Ecclesiastes there is a call to plant, to love, to live, to work, and then to enjoy the fruits of all one’s labors. The passage reminds us that there is a time for everything. I went back to Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 to savor the words:
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Right now, it feels like we are all of this. And it is a great time to ask ourselves, “What is it time for in this moment?” What are we called to be with ourselves and one another?
There is a time for everything. And I can think about is how this is a time for us to care for those we love. This is a time to be more kind, more compassionate, and more forgiving. This is a time to be generous and loving. This a time to love – more than we ever have before.
Posted in Toning the OM | Toning the Om
February 12th, 2020
My morning meditation gave rise to notion of curating more love. More peace. More joy. More laughter.
Following my meditation, I wrote in my journal, “My heart is curated and narrated by the love that lives in me.” I began to just sit with that — in that. I questioned where in my life am I curating and narrating more love.
How am I curating and narrating the love that lives in me? How am I expressing the love that lives in me?
Curating and narrating love is a daily practice; one I am not always good at sharing. Each moment and each breath gives me a chance to curate more love.
What are you curating more of in your life right now?
This month, this day, this moment is an opportunity to curate more love.
Posted in Meditation | Toning the Om
December 19th, 2019
Our light goes in and out.
We find ourselves again
and again.
And we lose ourselves again and again.
Sometimes we need the darkness to find our light.
Our light dims and love helps us find it.
Our light shines bright, and love shows us how to share it.
Our light glows and other people notice it.
We sometimes see the light in others before we see our own light. We shine and celebrate the light in others.
Oh, and their light flickers too.
May we find our inner sun that is always shining light.
May we remember that light emerges from the darkness.
And that the most holy darkness is the deepest darkness.
Let our flickering light and holy darkness be our teachers.
Posted in Meditation | Toning the Om
November 14th, 2019
I recently participated in a 14-day writing project focusing on one word or phrase. The word “home” has been on my mind. My sisters and I have been going through our childhood home the past few months in order to clean it out. Most of our weekends have been spent packing and wrapping, tossing and filling boxes for donations. It’s been very emotional. As I come across various photos and old objects, I found myself laughing and crying. This is the home I grew up in. It’s the home my mom and dad raised their family in. And gathered with friends in. And welcomed strangers. So much of my mom and dad are still in this home. There are so many memories and collections of belongings that fill “289.” As my sisters and I go through closets and dressers, cabinets and clutter, it has been difficult discerning the treasures from the trash. We often must look at some items a few times to decide what to keep or give away. We angst over things to toss or take.
I don’t always know the meaning of things my parents kept – some of it was just for sentimental reasons; some of it was passed on from their family; and some of it was saved as gifts to pass on to their daughters. As I look through the stuff in the house, I often feel like none of it belongs to me. And yet, I feel like my parents wanted us to feel their legacy through the things they saved. Every photo, every piece of Irish crystal, every teacup, every vinyl record is their way of passing down their stories, their dreams, and their hopes of a better life for their daughters. Perhaps we won’t have to struggle as much as they did.
This was more than a house my family lived in. This was a place full of love and loss. This was my home. And it always will be. I don’t always know the meaning of the things they saved. I only know the things they saved help me remember them. My heart is grateful for the things they saved.
Home is more than a place of arrival and departure. It’s a journey. It’s finding our home again and again. And it’s an outreached arm, saying, “Welcome Home.”
Tags: Family, Gratitude, Grief, Home, Homecoming, Remember, the things we save, welcome home
Posted in Storytelling | Toning the Om
September 24th, 2019
What if you could be just this moment?
Rather than let it go, begin a new practice of letting it be.
Just let it be.
Let it be and notice.
Then what?
Be just this moment and notice what happens inside.
Be just this moment and this moment and this moment.
Let it be. In this moment, let it be.
Posted in Letting Go | Toning the Om
September 16th, 2019
Leaning on other people is not always easy for me. I prefer to give help rather than get help. I don’t like feeling like I can’t do something. And lately I have found myself relying on the kindness of family, friends, and strangers. I have been tending to a sore knee and getting support in many forms for it. Of course, I waited a good few weeks before asking for help thinking I could take care of it and do it “on my own.”
I finally had to tend to my knee and get support through physical therapy. Then, after a few sessions when I was still in pain, I thought maybe asking for help wasn’t a great idea. I nearly gave up, but I kept hearing that I ought to rely on kindness, rely on others, and be willing to ask for help. And I realized that kindness is often an exchange of connecting. Kindness allows us to tune into other people and share who we truly are.
I relied heavily on the kindness of others to help me with stairs or the subway or lifting things for me. And I have relied on my physical therapist for helping me slow down and relax while doing both easy and challenging exercises.
I get to notice other parts of my life that need tending. And I get to notice the many parts of my life where relying on kindness is really a daily practice. Kindness is an opportunity to establish a real connection.
Notice all places in your life where kindness appears. Notice how kindness shows up from those we love and those we have never met. Notice where you give kindness to others. And notice how it feels to receive kindness.
Fully experience what it means to be kind. Just be kind.
And thanks to everyone who has showed me kindness the last few weeks! Still healing my knee and grateful for all the acts of kindness.
Posted in Learning | Toning the Om
